What do I do?? School fight

[sledderdoc]

So my 15 yr. old daughter was involved in an altercation at school today. Going to the store got confronted by another student who doesn't like her much. Other students of course quickey gathered around egging them on. My daughter was very frightened the other girl eventually punched her in the face and that was that. My daughter got a 2 day suspension and the other girl 5. I know the other girl from last year and sat beside her mom at basketball games (the two were actually teammates last year until her mom transfered her to another school).

As a parent I want to call her Mom and let her have it!! On the other hand does it make it worse once they're back at school???

Need some advice on whether to leave it or do something!!

 

[Sledderglen]

Call the other parent and see what her attitude about the fight is.If she doesnt think its a problem of her kid TUNE HER IN. Remember 3 sides to all stories and its hard to find that 3rd side.

 

[Ryano]

That is a tough one I went through the same thing but with my son so was a little different I would leave it alone and tell your daughter to let you know if she is even confronted again and then take it up with the other girls mom. Sometimes they can work it out by themselves but as a parent it is really hard not to go in there with both guns blazing to protect your kids. Good luck

 

[lexy]

don't ask me for any advice...as I having being flying by the seat of my pants since DR was in grade 9......

 

[Murminator]

Teach her how to fight so she can hang a good lickin on the other girl not much difference between a 2 day and 5 days suspension my-as-well go for the 5 day holiday.....then maybe the harassing will stop knowing she can get her A$& kicked

 

[Bogger]

I haven't had to deal with a girl/girl fight yet, Samantha had a boy pickin on her last year and I tuned him in personally, he stopped.
I'm not sure what I'd do....I've always told sam that I never want to hear about her starting a fight but she's allowed to finish it. Someone hits her that gives her the right to defend herself and hit back. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to make a bully stop is to catch them off guard, they usually prey on those who don't fight back. so if you fight back they are usually not expecting it.
Tell Alley not to back down and to stand her ground.
Or you could go kick the other fathers A$$.....lol....
Sorry I know this is serious....I'd ask Alley if she wants you to do anything, if she says no let it be, if she still feels scared then you and her can figure out the next step.

 

[sledderdoc]

Teach her how to fight so she can hang a good lickin on the other girl not much difference between a 2 day and 5 days suspension my-as-well go for the 5 day holiday.....then maybe the harassing will stop knowing she can get her A$& kicked

Thanks Murray ............ Ally's very athletic and has always been told to stand up for herself! Just wondering if that makes it worse.

 

[sledderdoc]

I haven't had to deal with a girl/girl fight yet, Samantha had a boy pickin on her last year and I tuned him in personally, he stopped.
I'm not sure what I'd do....I've always told sam that I never want to hear about her starting a fight but she's allowed to finish it. Someone hits her that gives her the right to defend herself and hit back. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to make a bully stop is to catch them off guard, they usually prey on those who don't fight back. so if you fight back they are usually not expecting it.
Tell Alley not to back down and to stand her ground.
Or you could go kick the other fathers A$$.....lol....
Sorry I know this is serious....I'd ask Alley if she wants you to do anything, if she says no let it be, if she still feels scared then you and her can figure out the next step.

Sounds like good advice. Thanks

 

[arcticdodge]

Bogger has it right, if you don't fight back it just keeps on going. But if you fight back and win they will take notice really quick. And if it happens on the right day you can end up with a 9 dday week-end:d But don't start it, just finish it

 

[sledderdoc]

If there's any high school kids here what do you think??

 

[give_it_all_]

I think Bogger is right, you need to ask your daughter what she wants/needs. I don't really know how girl fights are though. I used to fight all the time in elementary school and right after the fight you are good friends again but this situation seems different.

 

[blastoff]

You may want to see the school concilor or some one of that nature, With confronting the other parent involved it may get worse depending on there ethics. What about all the latest with the anti bullying campaign, check with them to see what should be done.

 

[Taminator]

Hey Doc...while I'm not an advocate for violence, I was in a few scraps in high scool myself. Each time initiated by another student. Sports, boys, jealousy, bullies...you know, highschool stuff. I wasn't shy by any means, but I also wasn't into fighting. But I had lots of friend support, was athletic and knew how to fight so I stood up for myself each time -and kicked some azz each time! I recall a few of these 'encounters' and being scared to death, but pumped up and scrapping with all I had to make sure I won. In my situation this always ended the confrontations, never once did I have an issue with any of these girls again. Most apologized and were nice after that. This may not always be the case, there are some nutjobs out there that may take it further. Don't know what your daughter thinks, but sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself!

Again, not supporting violence :d

 

[ponyboy]

wow....... that is a tough one . 1st you need to find out EXACTLY what happened between the 2 of them. this will be a 1 sided story from your daughter , so you have to make sure she is telling you the truth, if she is not and you confront the other parent ,it will only get worse. every one has some good reponses . myself , i would call the other parents and discuss the matter as calmly as possible . do not get into an altercation with them over the phone, as this will make you say things you wished you would'nt have. and you cant take them back. be the better person, the mother might seem nice to sit beside at a game ,but like a coin they have 2 sides. hell hath no fury like a pissed off woman. she will protect her daughter like a lioness, even if she is wrong ,hopefully you can come to some a resonable solution. if that don't work ...... sic the wife on her . IT'S sad , but this is what bullying lead's to. JM2C's

and it has to STOP

 

[Cyle]

Not in HS anymore, but was 2 years ago dang I feel old

Fact is HS fights seem to happen. I would for sure ask her what she wants you to do about it (if anything). It's a bit different for me because i'm a guy but I couldn't stand when parents or administration got involved. If a kid comes up and hits me, i'm gonna hit em back, and just let it be. I would make sure she stands up for herself though, absolutely nothing wrong with hitting someone back. But you do need to find out the full story.

But I would make sure the schools are fair about the punishment, because often they look at dumb things and make it unfair, like who is bigger, etc.

I'd also try to find out what try of girl the other one is. Some are very bad and might try to do something again, and maybe with other people.

 

[Byron]

IM in highschool.......gr.11
i think it best to just let it be after the 5 days she will be miserble(the one that punched your daughter so she wont want to do it no more

 

[Byron]

BTW What school does she go too some schools have areputation for stuff like that hah
like people at my school are always getting froshed..ph i got to j.percy page on the south side of edmonton

 

[ttpowersports]

kids in hs can be tough, i agree to talk to ur daughter and see what if anything she wants to do, i always told my two girls to never start a fight, but if the first slap/punch/scratch/kick is thrown. DONT BE A PUNCHING BAG, it just singles them out for others to abuse, i was runt in hs and ill admit got my own amount of bs deal at me. Dont back down, the bullies do it because they thrive on attention of the group of people around. Otherwise if they had a problem they could just talk about it. They want to be made the hero in eyes of the crowd.

Some say its better to throw the first punch, i disagree as violence just, encourages more violence. Dont throw the first punch but watch out for it coming, i always told my girls if someones confronting you, be ready, they arent likely to kiss you...lol watch for sudden movements.

Make sure you know the whole story, I think the worst to go to the school, then your daughter appears to need mommy to protect her it could just get worse. You say your daughters athletic, and has a few days off. maybe a few selfdefence classes would be a good idea. Not to learn how to fight but to learn how to defend yourself, and if need be come out on top, the bully could have thrown a surprise punch. But knowing now what your daughter does, learn to watch for it next time and know what to do.

Karma is a b...... i would love nothing more than to see ur girl walk up to the bully after the days off and pop her one right in the face,,, it would show her. but thats not the right thing to do is it?......

Good luck..

Terry

 

[Puba]

First I would ask your daughter if she wants you to do anything, by sticking your nose in without her permission could make it worse for her in the long run and I know you want to be the good parent but it could cause more harm than good from the other girl and her friends......

Second, I don't condone fighting and tell my kids to walk away when ever they can but if the aggressor touches them they are to finish what the aggressor starts and make darn sure the first hit is a heck of a good one, that's all it usually takes with a bully, the first person to stand up to them and show them they are not about to take their crap.....

My 10 year old daughter was getting hassled by a bully (a boy) 2 grades above her when we first moved to Stony Plain, when he pushed her and then grabbed her by the shoulder well lets just say she folded the young man to his knee's and we've never had a problem since. The school sent us a letter home with the daughter outlining the policy on fighting but never suspended her as she was not the aggressor just the little girl that nutted a boy 2 grades above her and almost three times her size...... Cant wait for her first boy friend.....! :d

 

[ponyboy]

First I would ask your daughter if she wants you to do anything, by sticking your nose in without her permission could make it worse for her in the long run and I know you want to be the good parent but it could cause more harm than good from the other girl and her friends......

Second, I don't condone fighting and tell my kids to walk away when ever they can but if the aggressor touches them they are to finish what the aggressor starts and make darn sure the first hit is a heck of a good one, that's all it usually takes with a bully, the first person to stand up to them and show them they are not about to take their crap.....

My 10 year old daughter was getting hassled by a bully (a boy) 2 grades above her when we first moved to Stony Plain, when he pushed her and then grabbed her by the shoulder well lets just say she folded the young man to his knee's and we've never had a problem since. The school sent us a letter home with the daughter outlining the policy on fighting but never suspended her as she was not the aggressor just the little girl that nutted a boy 2 grades above her and almost three times her size...... Cant wait for her first boy friend.....! :d

good for her . would'nt it be ironic, if he was the new boy friend years down the road . wierder things have made people fall in :d:d