badss
Active VIP Member
Go this from a good friend and thought I'd share it with ya all !!! Enjoy!
How to prepare yourself for Snowmobiling:
How to prepare yourself for Snowmobiling:
1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the first guy
you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular
basis.
2. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it
out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times
per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your sled out of
the deep snow.
3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each
arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle of your
back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, which he
conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do this exercise while
someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.
4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress
in long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs,
insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper
products and wait for a personal emergency. This gets you prepared for the
Beer squirts that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the
carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now
climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul the carburetor while
holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your
sled in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this
with a leatherman tool
7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the
right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all
over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or
girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar
after a ride.
8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot
chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a
lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers' field.
9. Find a place where you can pay $4.50 a gallon for regular gas; $19.99
per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen French fries; $3 for a
coke and $160 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking
through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you
for the high cost of your future winter trips.
10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a
$60,000 truck to pull the four $20,000 toys, in your $19,000 trailer that
you still owe $50,000 on. Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned
to head for the trails and ride your sled.
How to prepare yourself for Snowmobiling:
How to prepare yourself for Snowmobiling:
1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the first guy
you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular
basis.
2. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it
out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times
per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your sled out of
the deep snow.
3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each
arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle of your
back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, which he
conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do this exercise while
someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.
4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress
in long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs,
insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper
products and wait for a personal emergency. This gets you prepared for the
Beer squirts that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the
carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now
climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul the carburetor while
holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your
sled in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this
with a leatherman tool
7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the
right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all
over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or
girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar
after a ride.
8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot
chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a
lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers' field.
9. Find a place where you can pay $4.50 a gallon for regular gas; $19.99
per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen French fries; $3 for a
coke and $160 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking
through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you
for the high cost of your future winter trips.
10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a
$60,000 truck to pull the four $20,000 toys, in your $19,000 trailer that
you still owe $50,000 on. Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned
to head for the trails and ride your sled.
