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Twisted Boost

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Men Are Just Happier People.

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier...:beer::beer:



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And if I didn't know any better I would guess this is Sick.Ha.. ^^^^;)
 

Murminator

Timber King
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Oh and you forgot it takes .0001 seconds to get turned on :d
you can blow a big fart and all your freinds high 5 you :cool:
 

jono.2

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completely untrue, however funny.


INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operatedflawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and
> Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
> NBA 5.0,
> NFL 3.0 and
> Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 tofix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
> Boyfriend 5.0 isan Entertainment Package, while
> Husband 1.0 isan operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html andtry to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should thenautomatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 andFlowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (itruns a virus in the background that will eventually seize controlof all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program .These are unsupported applications and will crashHusband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learnnew applications quickly. You might consider buying additional softwareto improve memory and performance. We recommend
? Cooking 3.0 and
? Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Tech Support
 
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