tex78
Active VIP Member
Boy am I glad I'm an only child
sent while I should be drinking tea's
sent while I should be drinking tea's
Stolen Inheritance
- Thread starter Thunderr
- Start date
Cat401
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Caper11
Active VIP Member
OP sorry to hear about your troubles.
It's sad that this happens, every family go through this. I don't know why people can't respect the passing members wishes.
Unfortunately having wording in a will like "having possessions divided equally" is a unfair nightmare to the executor, to try and distribute, and it's a lot of work. And in the end there is always a family member that will feel slighted, even when items are itemized it happens as well.
I'm glad that my mom got everything in the will when dad passed, my brothers and I didn't care, we just wanted our dad back.
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It's sad that this happens, every family go through this. I don't know why people can't respect the passing members wishes.
Unfortunately having wording in a will like "having possessions divided equally" is a unfair nightmare to the executor, to try and distribute, and it's a lot of work. And in the end there is always a family member that will feel slighted, even when items are itemized it happens as well.
I'm glad that my mom got everything in the will when dad passed, my brothers and I didn't care, we just wanted our dad back.
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Last edited:
X-it
Active VIP Member
No problems for the family member when the net worth is 1/4 of what the funeral expenses are. Nobody want's to be the executor then..ha ha. I got shanghaid four times, gets to be expensive. Some voluntarily coughed a share of the expenses which was really nice to see.
Scuba
Active VIP Member
We had the same thing happen in '96 when my grandfather passed. One uncle took all monies that were to go to all grandchildren. Family got a lawyer but in the end my uncle and his family were the only one's that got any money. But in the end his wife left him, his daughter is the town bike of Athabasca and his son is a complete tool so at the end of the day we are most likely better off anyway.
eclipse1966
Active VIP Member
my 91 year old grandfather is still with us but not 100% both in body and mind. They had to move him to the manor so my mother and her siblings had to clean out his place and also deal with the will. Anyway, he didn't really have any money but he had thousands invested in fishing gear and with 4 grandsons we would have more gear than we can ever use (well over 10 grand). Unfortunately my brother and I were left out and by two youngest cousins got it all. I can buy all the gear I want but it would have been nice to pass something down to my grandkids and say this was your great great grandfathers lure. I kind of would like to ask him why, but such an awkward thing to do. My cousins were shocked of his decision and said they have no problem sharing it but to me it is not the same. I like the sentiment thing not the value.
X-it
Active VIP Member
It is just not worth losing any family member over money in my opinion. Just think of the all the fun you can at a family event, mean while he will have to suck it up his entire life. His guilt will be overwhelming ... or at least should be.
neilsleder
Active VIP Member
It's sad how death and money make people so greedy! It shows there true colours though! Hope it all works out for you in the end! It could be worse be like me and just get left out lol!
polarice
Active VIP Member
That is sad but it happens, hopefully you can sort it out amicably.
My parents are still with us but for many reasons (CPP and Old Age bennifits) the farms have been turned over to my two brothwers and I for almost 15 years. Each quarter's title has all three names so no one person gets decission making authority. We have since purchased a couple more farms amongst the three of us and soon all of our children will be 18. All farms will then be turned over to our kids so the land stays to be enjoyed for another generation. All farm rentals and gas well revenue goes to a joint account to cover any costs for my parents and the remainder in the "pot" to pay insurances and taxes. Kids are set to enjoy the results generations of work without having to put a penny out for it. Fortunatly we all get along really well, we look at it as "it is and never was ours so let's just pass it on".
Moral of the story is that estate planning never starts to soon. When you privide long term notice of how the estates will one day be handled there is time to grow accostomed to the wishes of those that will one day not be with us to speak for themselves. The contents of a will is great but the secrecy that wills are usually shrouded in is not! There has always been open communication in our family on how my parents estate would one day be handled. They are fine with it, we are fine with it and our kids have no idea how much they will be getting in the next few years and hopefully they see the value in how we have handled this and carry it on.
It can suck when greed steps to take what others have provided.
My parents are still with us but for many reasons (CPP and Old Age bennifits) the farms have been turned over to my two brothwers and I for almost 15 years. Each quarter's title has all three names so no one person gets decission making authority. We have since purchased a couple more farms amongst the three of us and soon all of our children will be 18. All farms will then be turned over to our kids so the land stays to be enjoyed for another generation. All farm rentals and gas well revenue goes to a joint account to cover any costs for my parents and the remainder in the "pot" to pay insurances and taxes. Kids are set to enjoy the results generations of work without having to put a penny out for it. Fortunatly we all get along really well, we look at it as "it is and never was ours so let's just pass it on".
Moral of the story is that estate planning never starts to soon. When you privide long term notice of how the estates will one day be handled there is time to grow accostomed to the wishes of those that will one day not be with us to speak for themselves. The contents of a will is great but the secrecy that wills are usually shrouded in is not! There has always been open communication in our family on how my parents estate would one day be handled. They are fine with it, we are fine with it and our kids have no idea how much they will be getting in the next few years and hopefully they see the value in how we have handled this and carry it on.
It can suck when greed steps to take what others have provided.
etecheaven
Active VIP Member
My dad has a unique way he plans to split his will for us kids. He plans to auction everything to the highest bidder between us four kids and if we want it we better bid on it. All money raised from auction is split evenly between us 4 kids. That way if I really wanted my dads house and so did my brother.... it would be resolved by who was willing to pay more for it. If my bro got it I could only blame myself for not paying more.
Makes it very interesting as it will show who really wants things or if they just want them to have them. I think this keeps things a lot cleaner and there will be no hurt feelings.
You also don't want things to go to cheap either, which adds a whole level of strategy to the auction.
My father and mom are rather wealthy so I really hope that when they pass it doesn't break the family. That said us 4 kids have done well for ourselves so I hope that makes it less about the money.
Makes it very interesting as it will show who really wants things or if they just want them to have them. I think this keeps things a lot cleaner and there will be no hurt feelings.
You also don't want things to go to cheap either, which adds a whole level of strategy to the auction.
My father and mom are rather wealthy so I really hope that when they pass it doesn't break the family. That said us 4 kids have done well for ourselves so I hope that makes it less about the money.
kakwa climber
Active VIP Member
My father said he is putting a clause in his will that for every dispute we file has to include a 5000 donation to the charity of his choice. Not sure if this works but not cheap to fight.
fidorama
Active VIP Member
I bet your Dad's is or was a farmer with an idea like.. not a bad idea...
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