Slap Chop

EMANAARON

Active VIP Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
1,354
Reaction score
379
Location
Morinville,ab
Found this and It is so True!

Okay so i got a shapchop.

(Some of this post has been edited due to language),admin

Fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini..
Let me tell you what this holy terror of a kitchen utensil does.. nothing.. crap all

Now lets look at a few things:
1. This thing is made of plastic and has a sharp blade hooked to a spring and a plunger.. this is a poor combination to begin with
2.The slapchop is about the size of a coffee grinder.. which means mean you need to slapchop your food prior to actually using the slapchop. In order to do that you need a knife.. if i have a knife in my hand already i may as well chop the f*cking vegetable right then and there!
3. One slap for large sizes, 2 slaps for smaller sizes, 3 slaps for a fine dice..

Heres what it actuallygoes like. One slap, twist and pry on plunger cause vegetable is wedges in the cutting mehanism. Two slaps, still wedged and no smaller then the last slap.. why? because the blade didnt actually cut anythin.. it just did a quarter turn with potato stuffed inside. Three slaps, another quarter turn and now your potato is wedged so far into the machine.. the plunger wont come out.

Now since the vegetable is stuffed deep inside this devil contraption you must now take the damn thing apart, easier said then done. Vince says "its easy as one two three"
Its easy to take apart minus potato stuffed however once those blades are full it becomes more difficult..

Picture this, a slapchop full of potato, the plunger is stuffed all the way to the bottom so you cant undo the top part and wont turn enought to pry the bottom protector part off

Now keep in mind that this contraption has a sharp blade in it.. so usign your fingers to pry out the potato chunks is out of the question. what do you do? get a tool of course!.. nowe cause you already had to cut your veges to slapchop size you happen to have a kniofe close by.. it only makes sense to use that to digout the jammed vege

Ahem.. at this point the slapchop is no longer a slapchop.. it suddenly becomes a spring loaded vegetable cannon!

As soon as you wiggle a tiny piece of the vegetable in question out of harms way you can fully expect to get showered in large chunks of potato.. remember these large chunks that fly fast and hard.. cause this stupid device hasnt actually CUT ANYTHING!

I am going to personally kill the man that invented this god damn thing.. in fact im going to use it on his nuts.. cause Vince says it works great on nuts.. in fact so well that we are going to love his nuts.

DO NOT BUY A SLAPCHOP

Im okay with the shamwow.. of course its a rag.. its pretty hard to f*ck that up.
=)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Crazy8

Active VIP Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2008
Messages
465
Reaction score
326
Location
Beaumont
Think you should clean that up a little, family forum and all. Pretty funny though.
 

GRD

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
Nov 14, 2006
Messages
3,004
Reaction score
310
Location
Calgary
That is funny... Thanks for cleaning it up!:)
 

ram4tow

Active VIP Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2008
Messages
368
Reaction score
165
Location
Alberta
stop crying .. lifes hard enough as it is! ...your gonna love my nutz~!~ :d:beer:
 

Shifty423

Active VIP Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2006
Messages
404
Reaction score
275
Location
Valemount BC
every time this guys comes on my tv I toy with the idea of spending my paycheck on a flight and a beating thank you for the wonderful review I have 3 buddies that hate the ad and have just forwarded them your review!!!

Shifty
 

POWDERCHOWDER

Active VIP Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2006
Messages
609
Reaction score
107
Location
EDMONTON
we bought onre for the father in law 3 gifts shamwow slap chop and a snuggie
we thought it would be funny.
 

magnet

Active VIP Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2008
Messages
5,364
Reaction score
1,391
Location
GSBA
:rolling::rolling: lmao just about crying awesome review. pretty much my thoughts exactly. wife bought me one as a joke what a piece of poo. but anyways. what did you thing of the graty:confused:
 

grnboyz

Active VIP Member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
1,058
Reaction score
2
Location
alberta beach
Just because he made one product that works well, he's using his name to now sell a piece of junk.
My girl bought one, used it once and that's where it ends, once because it never really worked and then fell apart after anyways.
 

gforce

Active VIP Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2006
Messages
4,776
Reaction score
728
Location
ANTLER LAKE
well they say theres one born every minute..:eek:...funny story tho..thanks for the laugh!!:beer:
 

Jenkie

Active member
Joined
Dec 10, 2007
Messages
131
Reaction score
3
Location
Red Deer
Found this and It is so True!

Okay so i got a shapchop.
That dirty son of a bi*ch Vince convinced me that this invention would save and help me eat health.
F*ck vince and his god damn nuts.

Fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini.. suck my weenie you d**chebag.
Let me tell you what this holy terror of a kitchen utensil does.. nothing.. ch!t all

Now lets look at a few things:
1. This thing is made of plastic and has a sharp blade hooked to a spring and a plunger.. this is a poor combination to begin with
2.The slapchop is about the size of a coffee grinder.. which means mean you need to slapchop your food prior to actually using the slapchop. In order to do that you need a knife.. if i have a knife in my hand already i may as well chop the f*cking vegetable right then and there!
3. One slap for large sizes, 2 slaps for smaller sizes, 3 slaps for a fine dice.. f*ck you.

Heres what it actuallygoes like. One slap, twist and pry on plunger cause vegetable is wedges in the cutting mehanism. Two slaps, still f*cking wedged and no smaller then the last slap.. why? because the f*cking blade didnt actually cut anythin.. it just did a quarter turn with potato stuffed inside. Three slaps, another quarter turn and now your potato is wedged so far into the f*cking machine.. the plunger wont come out.

Now since the vegetable is stuffed deep inside this devil contraption you must now take the damn thing apart, easier said then done. Vince says "its easy as one two three" F*CK YOU!

Its easy to take apart minus potato stuffed however once those blades aer full it becomes more difficult..

Picture this, a slapchop full of potato, the plunger is stuffed all the way to the bottom so you cant undo the top part and wont turn enought to pry the bottom protector part off

Now keep in mind that this contraption has a sharp f*cking blade in it.. so usign your fingers to pry out the potato chunks is out of the question. what do you do? get a tool of course!.. nowe cause you already had to cut your veges to slapchop size you happen to have a kniofe close by.. it only makes sense to use that to digout the jammed vege

Ahem.. at this point the slapchop is no longer a slapchop.. it suddenly becomes a spring loaded vegetable cannon!

As soon as you wiggle a tiny piece of the vegetable in question out of harms way you can fully expect to get showered in large chunks of potato.. remember these large chunks that fly fast and hard.. causde this stupid f*cking device hasnt actually CUT ANYTHING!

I am going to personally kill the man that invented this god damn thing.. in fact im going to use it on his nuts.. cause Vince says it works great on nuts.. in fact so well that we are going to love his nuts.
I bet this son of a b**ch has a SNUGGIE as well.. c*ckhead.

DO NOT BUY A SLAPCHOP

Im okay with the shamwow.. of course its a rag.. its pretty hard to f*ck that up.
=)

LMAO - ROTF - needed that thanks
 

AreWeThereYet

Active VIP Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2009
Messages
12,775
Reaction score
7,554
Location
Grande Prairie
My wife has one but it's from Pampered Chef,.. and honestly I really like using it when my turn is in the kitchen.
 

four4all

Active VIP Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
154
Reaction score
114
Location
Sherwood Park

Attachments

  • SLAPCHOPPER.jpg
    SLAPCHOPPER.jpg
    51.4 KB · Views: 64
Last edited:
Top Bottom